How to Talk to Loved Ones About Mild Cognitive Impairment

When you’re diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment (MCI), it’s normal to experience a range of emotions and to feel unsure about sharing the news with those closest to you.

“There are three predominant responses that I’ve seen throughout my nearly 20 years of practice, working with thousands of families,” says Joseph “Audie” Black, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist and founder of Idaho Neuropsychology in Boise. Those are feeling relief and validation over finally understanding what’s happening, worry and anxiety about the possibility of progression to dementia, and depression over the partial loss of cognitive abilities. There’s also a fourth, less common, reaction, he adds: denial about the diagnosis.

No matter how you’re feeling, sharing a mild cognitive impairment diagnosis with loved ones is an important first step. Open communication can help you reduce misunderstandings, build a supportive network, and plan for the road ahead.

How to Prepare to Share an MCI Diagnosis

• What causes mild cognitive impairment?
• Is mild cognitive impairment hereditary?
• Are there treatments or lifestyle changes that can help slow the progression of mild cognitive impairment?
• Is it safe for me to keep driving?
• At what point should I look into getting help at home?
• What kind of legal, financial, and care planning should I start now?

Being informed can help you feel more confident during these conversations and provide clarity for your loved ones.

Tips for Spreading the News

Before sharing the diagnosis, it helps to decide ahead of time what you’re willing to share and with whom you want to share it. “No one is entitled to this very private information,” says Dr. Black. Disclosing it is a personal choice.

Sharing the diagnosis with your nearest and dearest, though, can provide the emotional and practical support you need now and in the future.

Here are ways you might approach the news with different groups of people.

Close Loved Ones

You may want to be open and share the mild cognitive impairment diagnosis with your immediate circle to help them understand the day-to-day challenges you may face, while affirming your independence. “There’s a lot of life left to be lived with MCI, and that type of disclosure to your immediate circle can be incredibly helpful when you then solicit support,” says Black.

Find a quiet time to talk, without delaying the conversation too long. He suggests sharing actionable examples of how loved ones can help, such as, “If I seem to be isolating or staying inside more or saying no to more activities, will you give me that extra nudge to help me get out there? I really want to fight against the tendency that I’m feeling to withdraw.”

Extended Family and Friends

For your wider circle, Black suggests deciding what to say on a case-by-case basis, depending on how much you trust them, their intentions, and their ability to keep the information private. “I recommend a little bit more of a vague statement,” he says.

For example, if an acquaintance expresses concern, you might reply, “Thank you so much for checking in. I’m seeing a great team of doctors and have a solid plan for moving forward. I’ll let you know if I need any extra help.” This allows you to acknowledge their concern without disclosing details around the diagnosis.

The Larger Public

You likely don’t need to share anything about the diagnosis beyond your trusted circle. In any case, “Disclosure should be dictated by the person with MCI and not by their family,” says Black. Have an open discussion with your loved ones about who to tell, how much to share, and when to share, to make sure everyone is on the same page.

What to Do if Things Don’t Go as Planned

While many loved ones will support you by respecting your choices and asking how to help, others may react out of worry or misunderstanding about mild cognitive impairment, which can shape how they respond.

Keep in mind that any negative reactions are often shaped by confusion, fear, or a lack of firsthand experience with the condition. “If they haven’t done the background research, a diagnosis like mild cognitive impairment can feel very big, very scary, and uncertain,” he says.

If your loved ones are struggling to cope with your diagnosis, invite them to attend your next doctor’s appointment, so they can ask your healthcare provider questions directly. You can encourage them to learn more about mild cognitive impairment on their own, too, through reputable resources, such as the National Institute on Aging, Alzheimer’s Association, and Dementia Society of America.

Having these conversations may be uncomfortable at first, but they can make a big difference in the long run to strengthen understanding, reduce anxiety, and improve collaboration. “Families absolutely can get through this process and emerge even stronger on the other side,” says Black.