How to Be There for Someone Newly Diagnosed With Dementia
Neurological DisordersDementia

How to Be There for Someone Newly Diagnosed With Dementia

How to Be There for Someone Newly Diagnosed With Dementia
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Published on June 22, 2026
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Dementia doesn’t just affect the person who receives a diagnosis — it also impacts their family and friends. If someone you care about has recently been diagnosed, you might find yourself grappling with what it means to “be there” for them during this difficult time.

“Being there” can be complicated. It may feel as though the right thing to do (or the only choice you have) is to assume the role of care partner, which can be stressful and overwhelming.

Whether you choose to take on this primary role — or offer to help in other ways — the reality is that most people aren’t prepared to show up for someone with dementia at the outset. With information and support, it is possible to develop these skills.

How to Care for Someone in Every Stage of Dementia

In general terms, dementia can be described in three phases: early, middle, and late.

Each phase is unique. What’s more, a person’s character, life experiences, and medical conditions can shape their journey with the condition. These differences, in turn, can impact the experience of their care partners.

Early-Stage Dementia: Processing the Diagnosis

In the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia, a person may feel as if they're having memory lapses, such as forgetting familiar words or the location of everyday objects.

Someone diagnosed at this stage may grieve the loss of good health and their future as they imagined it, and experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. A dementia diagnosis is difficult to process, and it can stir up complex, negative feelings for both the person diagnosed and care partners.

 “The weight that comes with hearing that someone has an irreversible brain disease can be devastating,” says Cotenna Clark, NP, of Emory University’s Integrated Memory Care Clinic in Atlanta, who specializes in caring for older adults.
The person newly diagnosed will likely need time to process this diagnosis, which can feel emotionally overwhelming. They may need time alone, want to process with family and friends, or a combination of both.

 “They're suddenly having to cope with a disease that could [eventually] end their life, and take away their memory and their ability to be who they once were," says Clark.
The care partner will also need time to process their feelings, which may look similar to how the person newly diagnosed responds, or very different.

Also, processing the emotions that come with a dementia diagnosis isn’t just a one-time thing. It’s normal to need time and space to process and reflect every time the disease progresses or changes, especially in the earlier stages.

But as far as day-to-day life goes, in the early phase of dementia, care partners may be able to “be there” without making major changes. Ways to offer support at this time include providing minimal reminders and suggestions for everyday tasks, and initiating care planning for the later stages of the condition.

Middle-Stage Dementia: Managing Behaviors

In the middle stage of dementia, people may experience increased forgetfulness and memory concerns.

 They may also experience aggression, agitation, and psychosis.

 Deciding how to manage these behaviors can add additional stress to an already overwhelming situation.
If these symptoms and behaviors become distressing to the person living with dementia or the person supporting them, clinicians may recommend medications to minimize these behaviors.

Care partners may need more resources during this phase, which may come from family, community, or the patient’s healthcare team.

Late-Stage Dementia: Looking Into Long-Term Care

During late-stage dementia, the person may have significant changes in their personality and abilities. They're often unable to do much of anything for themselves, requiring total care.

In this phase, care partners will face new challenges and decisions about how to meet the care recipient’s basic needs, such as feeding, bathing, and toileting.

Care partners may also need to evaluate whether it’s too difficult to care for the person at home, and potentially explore other strategies for how to be there for them in a new care setting, such as assisted living or a long-term care facility.

Take the Time for Honest Self-Reflection

It can be helpful to have an honest conversation with yourself about your capacity to care for a person with dementia. Clark suggests asking yourself if you're up to the task of being the primary care partner, or if you’re more equipped to be the backup care partner, who gives the primary care partner a respite or time away from caregiving responsibilities a few times a year.

It’s also important to consider your current responsibilities and demands. Whether you have several family members who can help — or if it’s just you — think about how care work will impact your life and the lives of those who are close to you. For example, are you also caring for small children? Are you employed full-time? How close do you live to the person diagnosed with dementia? Will you be the only one supporting the patient, or have others offered to help?

“How you decide to show up and care for this person will impact your spouse or partner,” says Clark. “It will impact your children. It will impact your career. So reflecting on whether you are in a space to take on this extra responsibility is valuable. Because if you aren’t that person — and it’s okay if you aren’t — it serves everyone well if you know that initially.”

Clark suggests asking yourself these three questions as you weigh your options:

What are you feeling? If you’re focused on helping the person with dementia cope with their diagnosis, you may not have taken time to process your own feelings. Get a journal or find a friend — and vent. You might scream. You might cry. You might curse. It’s okay. Give yourself space to process and grieve.

How was your pre-diagnosis relationship with the person? It’s important to reflect on your prior relationship, because the feelings you have about the person will come up while supporting them. Being there can worsen relationship strain for some; for others, it may give you a second chance to repair a relationship. Thinking about these dynamics early on or reaching out to a mental health professional can help you to process your feelings along the way.

What resources can you leverage? “Once you decide to be the primary care partner, it’s critical to identify people who can hold you up when you’re weak and give you the strength to continue,” Clark says. For some people, this help won’t necessarily come from their friends or family circle — it may come from resources in your health system, place of worship, or local community.

Many care partners don’t feel like they have a choice in how — or how much — to show up for a person living with dementia. They may be the person’s only living relative or friend, for example. Certain cultures may have rigid expectations about who in a family unit is expected to provide care.

Even in these cases, there are people and resources that can help support your care responsibilities. For example, the Alzheimer’s Association free 24-7 Helpline (800-272-3900) offers care consultations with dementia care experts to help provide individualized, solution-focused support to families.

An honest reflection can help you assess what “being there” means for you. While it may seem at first like you don’t have options — and there’s no one to help — the truth is you don’t have to go at it alone. Careful reflection can help you identify resources and make an informed care strategy. Doing so can help protect your well-being as well as that of the person with the diagnosis.

EDITORIAL SOURCES
Everyday Health follows strict sourcing guidelines to ensure the accuracy of its content, outlined in our editorial policy. We use only trustworthy sources, including peer-reviewed studies, board-certified medical experts, patients with lived experience, and information from top institutions.
Resources
  1. Caregiver Stress. Alzheimer’s Association.
  2. Stages of Alzheimer's. Alzheimer’s Association.
  3. Just Diagnosed. Alzheimer’s Association.
  4. Treatments for Behavior. Alzheimer’s Association.
  5. Respite Care. Alzheimer's Association.
  6. 24/7 Helpline. Alzheimer’s Association.
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