6 Tips for Sleeping Better When You’re Sharing a Bed

Sharing a bed with a partner may be the norm, but it can make for restless sleep.

“Bed-sharing can create slightly more movement and occasional awakenings, especially if a partner snores, kicks, or has a restless sleep disorder,” says Michael J. Breus, PhD, a double board certified clinical psychologist and clinical sleep specialist based in Hermosa Beach, California.

But if you have different sleep schedules or preferences from your partner, there could be room for improvement. Here are six tips to help you get a better night's sleep.

1. Replace Your Mattress or Topper

You may love a soft, plush mattress, while your partner may prefer a firm one. It’s a difficult compromise, but you don’t have to toss and turn on an uncomfortable surface.

This isn’t always the most comfortable, though, says Alex Dimitriu, MD, who is double board certified in psychiatry and sleep medicine and the founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine in Menlo Park, California. “A mattress topper for the person who wants more softness is another alternative,” adds Dr. Dimitriu, who is also a medical reviewer for Everyday Health.

2. Stop the Blanket Stealing

Sharing a bed with a blanket hog can lead to a frustrating night with plenty of wake-ups as you try to yank the covers back over to your side.

3. Create a Dark, Quiet Environment

Even if the mild noises or disturbances don’t fully wake you up, they can still impact the quality of your sleep, Dimitriu says. “Less noise and light is generally good for everyone,” he says.

4. Find Snoring Solutions

5. Successfully Navigate Different Schedules

“It is quite common for partners to have differing sleep needs and schedules,” Dimitriu says. “Some are night owls, and some are morning types, and people have different work schedules.”

“When partners try to force the same schedule, it can create a kind of mini ‘social jet lag,’ leading to poorer sleep, irritability, and daytime fatigue,” Breus says.

Instead of forcing the same schedule, try to establish a routine where you respect one another’s different sleep schedules and stick to agreed-upon bedroom rules for noise and devices when the other person is sleeping, Breus says. For instance, you can use a quiet alarm clock if you wake up at different times.

“I have been using an earbud that you sleep with, and it can wake me up without ever disturbing my wife,” Breus says. This type of device wakes you up through the earbud, which your partner likely won’t hear. “There are also vibration alarms where you put it in the pillow of the early riser and then it only wakes them up.”

6. Meet Each of Your Temperature Preferences

Alternatively, Dimitriu suggests trying a specialized type of mattress topper that uses air or other technology so each partner can select their own temperature (for instance, some use circulating air to customize and regulate the temperature of each half of the bed).

The Takeaway

• Sharing a bed with a partner can come with many benefits, including better sleep and lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.
• A restless partner’s movements, different schedules, temperature preferences, and snoring or other noises can all contribute to a poor night's sleep when sharing a bed with a partner.
• Solutions for improving your sleep while sharing a bed include rethinking your mattress and bedding, creating guidelines that honor both sleep routines, utilizing tools like quiet alarm clocks and blackout shades, and finding solutions for snoring.