Is Your Summer Burning You Out? 5 Tips for Coping

Friends want to get together for happy hours, cookouts, and outdoor summer concerts. You have vacations planned. If you have kids, there’s summer camp, summer sports, playdates with friends, and all the memories you’re supposed to be making as a family. Oh, and you still have work too. Exhausted yet?

Both internal and external pressures to make the most of your summer may have you in overdrive during what’s supposed to be a more laid-back, jovial, relaxing season — and from that, you may start to feel burned out.

Personal factors that can lead to burnout include an overpacked, stressed personal life, Dr. Cutlip says, noting that specific elements of burnout include emotional and physical exhaustion, disconnection from yourself and others, and difficulty regulating emotions. And while it’s certainly not a clinical diagnosis, summer burnout is still legit. Here’s a rundown of what you need to know, and what to do about it.

Why Your Summer Might Be Burning You Out

“Summer burnout is absolutely real,” says Nina Kaiser, PhD, a licensed psychologist and founder of Practice San Francisco, a private therapy provider. For one, we go into summer thinking it will be fun, amazing, and exciting, she says. “In a way, that leads us to overcommit ourselves and say yes to all the potential opportunities that come our way, which can turn out to be overwhelming,” she explains.

The second factor involves expectations. The start of summer appears with so much promise: You can find time to do it all! And it will all be fun! This extra pressure sets the stage for disappointment if things don’t unfold as you’d expect, Dr. Kaiser says.

Cutlip agrees. For much of our lives, summer represents slowing down, taking a break, and having time off, she says. “Yet for most people in the workforce and just about everyone with kids, slower days are not at all what summer looks like anymore.”

When reality hits — and the precious few weeks of summer flash by in a blur — you’re left feeling deflated.

Finally, that overwhelmed feeling might also come from being knocked off your regular schedule. “As humans, we’re creatures of routine, and summer does not lend itself to routine,” Kaiser says.

Differing schedules, vacations, kid pickups, and more create moving parts that require mental energy that’s tiring, she explains. The details of your schedule differ depending on your personal circumstances, but the point is that summer tends to throw more on your plate. Unfortunately, we then feel pressure to gobble it all up.

5 Tips for Coping if Your Summer Is Burning You Out

You can still have a great, fulfilling summer — and feel as if you’ve done it all (without actually doing it all) — by following a few tips to find a better balance:

1. Create a Summer Value Statement

To write one, Cutlip says: “Think about what you personally would like to embrace this summer.”

That might be alone time learning about yourself and your own needs, time spent with your kids, or even diving into a project that could really move the needle on your career. Whatever it is, it’s the right answer. Make it your value statement by thinking about the ways you want to behave in the summer. “I want to spend more time with my kids,” or “I want to be more playful and adventurous,” or “I want to be more mindful and self-caring” are all examples of summer value statements, Cutlip says. Pick one that speaks to you.

Then, when invitations or obligations arise, you can make your decision based on your value statement. “That way, no matter what your summer looks like, you can know that you’ve had a grounding value that you held true to,” she says.

2. Embrace Flexibility

One of the traps we humans fall into is defaulting to black-and-white thinking. You either go to the backyard get-together or don’t, for example. But there’s actually a continuum of choices around your participation in something, Kaiser says.

For example, if your neighbor is having a BBQ, you can go over for one cocktail (or mocktail) and then head out. Part-time attendance can give you all the perks of going with more personal downtime built in, if you need it. “Ask yourself, ‘What will serve me best in showing up how I want to be?’” Kaiser suggests.

3. Schedule Some Time to Do Less

If you’ve been going nonstop and are stressed out as a result, it’s okay to scale back this week (if possible). Kaiser recommends listing everything you have coming up in the week (or month, if you want to take a longer-term view) and then asking yourself what you can cut — or what’s easy to cut.

4. Focus on One Thing at a Time

“You cannot prioritize one thing without deprioritizing others. It’s just a simple fact, yet we act as if everything can be prioritized at the same time,” Cutlip says. Splitting your focus isn’t sustainable or effective, and it’s a fast track to feeling overwhelmed and burned out, she adds.

The remedy: Focus on one thing at a time. For instance, she says, if you’re in work mode, do that. If you’re with your family, stop working and give them your attention.

5. Check in With Yourself — Often

It’s okay if your summer feels as if it’s gotten away from you — there’s still time (no matter what point of the season you’re in) for a redirect. Cutlip recommends routinely tuning in to yourself and making small, manageable adjustments so that you don’t become disconnected.

When you feel frazzled or overwhelmed, that’s a good time to stop and ask yourself what you need. Do you need more time for R & R? More time to spend on something you find enjoyable? Less time spent running around for the kids’ schedules? Fewer events on your calendar? From there, you can take steps in that direction. “Try to get in the regular practice of scanning yourself and seeing what you need to help make summer a much more enjoyable time of year,” Cutlip says.