5 Things I Tell My Patients About How to Prepare Emotionally for Retirement
Mental HealthEmotional Health

5 Things I Tell My Patients About How to Prepare Emotionally for Retirement

5 Things I Tell My Patients About How to Prepare Emotionally for Retirement
Getty Images
By
for A Therapist Speaks
Published on August 28, 2026
Everyday Health Blogs

Retirement is often portrayed as a well-earned reward after decades of work with freedom, more time with loved ones, and the opportunity to pursue long-delayed hobbies.

But emotionally, retirement is often more complicated than people expect. What should feel like an exciting milestone can instead feel like an unnerving finish line, leaving us wondering: “What comes next?”

As a psychiatrist, I've found that one of the biggest misconceptions about retirement is that it's simply about leaving a job. In reality, it can involve the loss of routine, identity, purpose, and daily social connection — all of which play a role in mental health. While many people thrive in retirement, others are surprised to find themselves struggling with anxiety, low mood (sometimes referred to as “retirement blues”), or a sense of aimlessness.

These challenges are not inevitable. Most people spend years preparing financially for retirement. Far fewer spend time preparing psychologically. Both matter.

Consider these five tips and strategies to make the transition smoother, healthier, and ultimately more fulfilling.

1. Build an Identity Beyond Your Career

For many people, work is more than a paycheck. It provides a sense of identity, purpose, competence, and belonging. Transitioning out of their career role can therefore lead to a loss of these other things, including losing identity after retirement. But, there are ways to manage this.

Research shows that having multiple well-developed identities is protective of mental health after retirement.

 This means instead of identifying with one thing (“I’m a teacher,” “I’m an electrician,” “I’m an engineer,” “I’m a doctor”), it’s helpful to identify with multiple things prior to retiring.

This doesn’t mean your work identity isn’t important to you, but it’s recognizing that you may also have other roles, including spouse, parent, gardener, tennis player, card player, and friend, among others.

And, it’s important that you not only have these various additional roles in title, but that you’re actually involved in and experience them (which is what categorizes them as one of your identities).

This caveat may be one of the reasons this identity shift can impact men even more than women. One study published in 2019 found an increase in depressive symptoms in men after retirement, but not in women.

 The authors suggest one potential reason contributing to this difference is that women focus on home and work, whereas, traditionally, men focus more on work, so retirement feels more impactful socially and psychologically for men than women. Although men may theoretically share some of these other roles — like parent and community member — they don’t spend as much time developing them as women do.

How to Do It Ideally before retirement, ask yourself: “Who am I besides my job? What do I enjoy doing or want to do more of? What parts of myself do I want to invest in next?” Retirement is often easier when you aren't trying to discover a new identity after leaving work, rather you're simply giving more time and attention to identities that were already there.

2. Be Physically Active

The impact of retirement on physical activity isn’t straightforward. Some studies have found retirement leads people to be more active, and some suggest it leads others to slow down. A study suggests it may depend on your occupation. The study showed that those who hold sedentary jobs experience an increase in physical activity in retirement but those who have more active jobs often experience a decrease in physical activity in retirement.

Regardless of your starting place, the most compelling aspect of this research is that it highlighted the importance of staying active in retirement. The authors noted that physical activity during retirement has been associated with improved physical health, lower rates of depression, better sleep, improved cognitive function, and overall higher quality of life.

Another study found physical activity decreased all-cause mortality, including death from cardiovascular disease, in older adults, in a dose-related way (which basically means, small amounts of exercise made a small but positive impact, and more exercise made an even bigger impact).

How to Do It Instead of viewing retirement as a time to slow down, consider it an opportunity to move, just maybe differently. Find enjoyable forms of movement you can sustain for years to come. Bonus points if the activity involves friends (see Tip 3!). Retirement may finally provide the time to prioritize the very habits that help you stay healthy enough to enjoy it.

3. Stay Social

Social connections are not just important for social health, but for mental and physical health as well. Indeed, earlier this year, a systematic review of over 30 studies on the topic found that loneliness was related to a number of poor health outcomes, including increased rates of mortality.

What’s more, loneliness in older adults has conversely been found to be linked to depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, cardiovascular disease, and loss of independence as we age.

How to Do It How much someone naturally socializes after retirement is impacted by a number of factors, including living with a spouse and involvement in community. If you live alone or are retiring before your spouse, you may have to put more effort into making regular social connections. This may look like playing a sport, like tennis or pickleball, being involved in the community, and regularly making plans with friends.

4. Create a Schedule

While the freedom that comes with retirement can be exciting, it can also lead people to feel lost. Having activities scheduled for the day, or having some kind of rhythm to the week — like, every Monday I lunch with friends — can set someone up for retirement success.

One study based on interviews with individuals 65 years and older, their family members, and health professionals who work with older adults notes that having some kind of schedule can be helpful in maintaining physical and mental well-being in retirement.

Importantly though, this study emphasized that different retirees define this differently. In other words, some people may like having a set schedule for the day while others may prefer having certain activities planned but also like having flexibility.

How to Do It When planning your week, start with any activities you have to do. Then consider what activities bring you joy and a sense of fulfillment. Last, commit to when you plan to do these things during the week. Some people may benefit from being specific about the day and time and others may rather just pick a general day and time. What’s essential is for people to tailor their routine, both what the routine consists of as well as how busy it is, to their liking.

5. Know That It May Be More of a Journey Than a Transition

Many people view retirement as a single event requiring an adjustment period. But a 2011 research paper outlined how this is probably incorrect.

 The researchers described how someone’s adjustment to retirement can fluctuate. This adjustment may not only change organically over time, but can be impacted by other factors, like concern over resources, loss of a spouse, and physical health.
This concept of retirement as a series of transitions rather than one single transition is now regularly used and discussed in retirement research, particularly as it is recognized that retirement itself can be a dynamic transition for some, rather than a single event.

What further complicates this is that adjusting to retirement is very individual and can be impacted by several factors, both in our control and out of our control. This means we can’t compare our adjustment to retirement to someone else’s.

How to Do It Just knowing this can be helpful. It can normalize a transition to retirement that's more challenging than someone else's. It can also make it less surprising if you're enjoying retirement and all of a sudden feel less enthusiastic about it. This is normal, and leaning on all the other tips in this article may be helpful to improving your mood and well-being.

Important: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not Everyday Health.

EDITORIAL SOURCES
Everyday Health follows strict sourcing guidelines to ensure the accuracy of its content, outlined in our editorial policy. We use only trustworthy sources, including peer-reviewed studies, board-certified medical experts, patients with lived experience, and information from top institutions.
Resources
  1. Bordia P et al. Retiring: Role identity processes in retirement transition. Journal of Organizational Behavior. 2020.
  2. Noh J et al. Gender differences in the impact of retirement on depressive symptoms among middle-aged and older adults: A propensity score matching approach. PLoS One. 2019.
  3. Glasson L et al. The physical activity implications of retirement across occupational activity groups. Preventative Medicine. July 2023.
  4. Fukkushima N et al. Dose-response relationship between of physical activity with all-cause mortality among older adults: an umbrella review. Journal of American Medical Directors. March 2024.
  5. Ahmed AO et al. Loneliness, Social Isolation, and Chronic Disease Outcomes in Adults: A Systematic Review. Cureus. 2026.
  6. Blazer D et al. Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Healthcare System. National Academies Consensus Study Report. 2020.
  7. Tsadok-Cohen et al. "You need to set a daily schedule": Understanding successful aging via three-sided viewpoints. Healthcare (Basel). 2023.
  8. Wang M et al. Retirement Adjustment: A Review of Theoretical and Empirical Adjustments. American Psychologist. 2011.
  9. Calvo E et al. Retirement transition sequences and well-being among older workers focusing on gender differences. Journal of Gerontological Social Work. 2024.
Meet Our Experts
See Our Editorial PolicyMeet Our Health Expert Network
Dr. Allison Young

Allison Young, MD

Author
Member of American College of Lifestyle Medicine

Allison Young, MD, is a board-certified psychiatrist providing services via telehealth throughout New York and Florida.

In addition to her private practice, Dr. Young serves as an a...

See full bio
See Our Editorial PolicyMeet Our Health Expert Network