Dating With Psoriasis: Tips for Communication, Confidence, and Connection

Dating can be stressful to begin with, but navigating a new relationship while living with a visible skin disease, such as psoriasis, can bring up even more feelings of anxiety and insecurity.

While it may be uncomfortable at first, being open about the condition early on — and remembering that psoriasis does not define you — can help set the stage for a meaningful relationship.

Here’s a practical guide on how to date with clarity and confidence.

When considering the right time to open up the conversation about psoriasis, “There’s no single right answer,” says Tanya Evans, MD, a board certified dermatologist and the medical director of the skin cancer program at the Melanoma Clinic at MemorialCare Saddleback Medical Center in Laguna Hills, California. “It depends on your comfort and the type of relationship you want.”

The right time to bring up psoriasis is going to differ for everyone, but Dr. Evans offers advice on the timing:

• Earlier Versus Later Some people prefer to have the conversation after a few dates, once you’ve gotten to know each other a bit more. Others like to be up front about the psoriasis right away. Choose what preserves your peace of mind, she says.
• Before Physical Intimacy Letting your partner know what to expect, including where psoriasis affects you, can help both of you feel more comfortable and avoid surprises or awkward moments during intimacy.

No matter when you decide to start the conversation, remember that honesty is essential. For some people, psoriasis may lessen the desire for touch. If this is the case, set that boundary with your partner early on.

It also helps to think about what you’ll want to say ahead of time. Evans recommends sticking to the facts and keeping it short, while still encouraging your partner to ask questions. If you’re feeling stuck on how to start, consider one of these scripts to guide you:

• Try something short and light early in the relationship. “Heads-up: I have a skin condition called psoriasis. It’s been part of my life for a while. It’s not contagious and usually manageable.”
• If you are ready to be intimate, you can opt for a deeper, more emotional approach. “There’s something I prefer to share before we get too physical. I have psoriasis, a chronic skin condition. It’s not contagious, and I can answer any questions.”

When you do choose to have the conversation, be mindful of your partner’s response. “If someone doesn’t respond with acceptance, compassion, and support, or someone doesn’t respect boundaries, those are things to seriously consider in choosing a partner,” says Rebecca Wulf, LCSW, chief program director for The Jewish Board’s family and children’s services in New York City. “Healthy dating includes good communication and respecting boundaries.”

To help boost your confidence, Evans suggests focusing on the parts of your appearance and routine that help you feel most like yourself. Some ways you can do this:

• Dress in a way that feels right for you. It’s up to you how much you want to cover flares, if at all. The important thing is to wear something that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
• Use psoriasis-friendly skin and makeup products. If you wear makeup, psoriasis-friendly options — gentle moisturizers, tinted creams, or products designed to camouflage lesions — can help even skin tone without irritating sensitive areas.
• Find other ways to show your personality. From choosing a flattering hairstyle to playing up your accessories, there are other parts of yourself you can attend to beyond your skin.

The key to managing self-consciousness from psoriasis is taking baby steps. Start with lower-stakes social situations, such as meeting up for coffee or taking a walk in the park, before jumping into a long, romantic dinner. These small interactions can help you build confidence for future dates.

Defining yourself starts with you. Psoriasis is just one detail about yourself, not the whole story. “Worth and attractiveness come from your unique qualities — character, values, talents, interests, and humor — not by a skin condition,” says Wulf.

Evans shares a few tips for keeping psoriasis from taking over your identity:

• Know that language matters. Say, “I have psoriasis,” as opposed to, “I’m a psoriasis patient.”
• Emphasize how you manage it. Focus on what you do to treat psoriasis, rather than letting flares be the narrative.
• Build your identity as a whole person. Keep investing in roles and activities that reinforce who you are as a person, such as hobbies, relationships, and work.
• Frame psoriasis as a medical condition, rather than a personal failing. If a flare is emotionally triggering, treat it as a medical problem to be solved (like you would back pain), not as a personal judgment.

• When dating with psoriasis, sharing that you have the condition early on can avoid misunderstandings and help form a stronger personal connection.
• Managing emotional discomfort before and during dates is vital. Comfortable clothing, mindfully addressing your mental health, and skin-care routines can boost your confidence.
• Build your identity beyond psoriasis by engaging in activities that showcase who you really are, emphasizing that the condition is just part of your life story, not the defining element.