Are You Simply Obsessive, or Do You Have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?

Have you ever heard someone say “I'm so OCD” to describe a strong desire for neatness? Despite what stereotypes might suggest, that is not a sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

OCD is more than a desire to keep a clean house, maintain a schedule, or read everything you can about a favorite celebrity. It’s a chronic and long-lasting mental health condition marked by uncontrollable recurring thoughts, intrusive thoughts, or behaviors that must be repeated over and over in order to quell extreme anxiety.

Left untreated, OCD can significantly impact every area of one’s life, from school to work to relationships to everyday activities. It can even confine people to their homes for fear they may not be able to perform their rituals or manage their symptoms in other ways.

In other words, there are big differences between simply being obsessive and having OCD — and while both involve obsessive thinking, that’s where the similarities end.

Being obsessive means having a fixation on someone or something, whether it’s an idea, person, or physical object, says Gomattie Bell, a licensed mental health counselor at Humantold, a therapy practice in New York City.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, notes the clinical psychologist Jenny Yip, PsyD, who founded the Renewed Freedom Center in Los Angeles to treat people with anxiety disorders, including OCD. If being fixated on a person, a song, or a particular food is pleasurable, it's not a worry, she explains.

Even when an obsessive thought causes anxiety — fretting, say, about work or relationship issues — it’s not likely to be a problem unless it’s accompanied by compulsive behaviors like counting, chanting, or repeated handwashing, says the psychologist Doreen Dodgen-Magee, PsyD, the author of Restart: Designing a Healthy Post-Pandemic Life.

OCD involves two key components: obsessions — intrusive and upsetting involuntary thoughts — which can center on any number of topics, including a fear of germs, a need to be perfect, or a dread that something bad will happen to someone you love, Dr. Yip explains.

Those obsessions lead to compulsions — repetitive behaviors done to get relief from those distressing obsessive thoughts. Compulsive behaviors can include checking, washing, counting, repeating, mentally reviewing, or seeking reassurance from other people, Yip notes.

People with OCD are caught in a vicious and exhausting cycle. They feel controlled by their obsessions and the compulsive acts that follow. Even when they know both are unreasonable, even ridiculous, they feel that they cannot stop. Not surprisingly, this often causes difficulties in relationships. Partners, parents, friends, siblings, and others can find it hard to understand the intensity of the inner struggle people with OCD experience, or why it is taking over so much of their lives, Dr. Dodgen-Magee says.

The largest, most obvious difference between being obsessive and having OCD comes down to whether an obsession interferes with your daily life. “If it's not interfering with your functioning, it's not OCD,” says Yip. Keep in mind that not all people have full OCD, and could instead have obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), which has less interference with functioning and primarily affects interpersonal relationships.

But when obsessive thoughts begin interrupting a person’s ability to carry out normal activities or prompt compulsive behaviors in response to them, the person may have OCD, says Dodgen-Magee.

Another subtle but significant difference is that the sense of control over these thoughts and the severity of their obsessions is different for people with OCD than for those without it. For example, obsessions are not anxiety-provoking and feel easier to manage for someone who is merely obsessive or detailed-oriented. Often, this just feels like part of their personality, and they may even like this aspect of themselves.

Whether an obsession is paired with a compulsion is also a key difference between obsessiveness and OCD. Bell suggests trying to identify whether there is a compulsive behavior that occurs in conjunction with or in response to an obsessive thought. She adds that it’s wise to seek professional support from a psychotherapist or psychiatrist if compulsions take up more than one hour of your time each day and cause you significant distress at work or in your social life.

“If your everyday life is interrupted by your thoughts or behaviors for two weeks or more, if the compulsive behaviors that ‘quiet’ the obsessions are potentially harmful to you, or you are at risk of harming yourself, you should seek professional help,” adds Dodgen-Magee.

Whether you’re dealing with a simple but annoying fixation or full-blown OCD, Bell’s No. 1 recommendation is to seek professional help if you’re experiencing any distress so that you can learn to develop positive coping skills for what you’re experiencing.

You can find a clinician through directories offered by the International OCD Foundation and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, she adds.

Other therapeutic interventions that can help are:

• Mindfulness meditation, a stress-relieving strategy that involves deep breathing and techniques for slowing down racing thoughts

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• Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, a form of therapy focused on helping to change the thinking and behavioral patterns behind obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors

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• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a type of psychotherapy that uses acceptance of negative thoughts as a way to manage them

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• Medications, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like escitalopram (Lexapro) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) like venlafaxine (Effexor), which can reduce symptoms

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Grounding techniques — which can be used nearly anytime and anywhere — are another excellent technique for managing both obsessive thoughts and OCD tendencies, Bell says. Two examples: “The 5-4-3-2-1 method works by forcing you to refocus your attention. Name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell and one thing you taste,” Bell explains. “Another grounding technique that I find works well is naming objects by categories: ice cream flavors, colors, football teams.”

• Being obsessive about certain habits or interests is common and usually harmless.
• OCD involves intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that interfere with daily life.
• The key difference is whether symptoms cause significant distress or disrupt functioning.
• Professional treatment can help a person manage OCD and improve their quality of life.