Menopausal Women Are Often Gaslighted by the Medical Profession

Vanessa McGrady developed bloating and other digestive problems, her hair began falling out, and she found herself tossing and turning at night; she knew these symptoms stemmed from menopause, especially since her menstrual cycle had also become irregular, but the onslaught overwhelmed her. “I felt like I’d lost control of my body and its functions,” says McGrady, 55, the Burbank, California–based author of the memoir Rock Needs River.

The hot flashes were exacerbated by the outside temperatures, making McGrady feel even more out of sorts. She felt alone in her experience because her husband and daughter couldn’t relate.

McGrady’s hope for reassurance and effective medical treatment was dashed when she saw her general practitioner. As she ticked through her symptoms, she felt so overwhelmed that she started to cry. Her doctor, a younger woman, coldly asked why she was upset.

McGrady left feeling dismissed and even more adrift. And she is not alone in her experience.

At least McGrady’s physician recognized that her symptoms were from menopause. Other women say that their healthcare practitioners don’t even make the connection, chalking up their symptoms to things like stress or even hypochondria.

Women are regularly gaslighted about the way that fluctuating hormones related to menopause affect their physical and mental health, says Maya Dusenbery, the author of Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick.

“This has led to women who experience symptoms being told their symptoms are either all in their heads or nothing to complain about,” she explains.

Mental health symptoms, including depression, anxiety, or brain fog, worsen the odds of being dismissed, Dusenbery says. “It's all too easy for medical providers to see middle-aged women struggling with anxiety and depression as just stressed by the everyday challenges of midlife.”

The shifting hormones in the years leading up to and after the end of periods cause a wide range of scientifically documented symptoms.

Common physical issues include hot flashes, night sweats, hair loss, weight gain, vaginal dryness, and urinary issues known as the genitourinary syndrome of menopause.

“Women without preexisting anxiety or depression can in fact be hit very hard at this time,” Dr. Santoro says, although she notes that women with a history of these conditions are at the highest risk.

“There is clear evidence” that mood is related to the menopausal transition, Santoro says.

The menopause transition is a process that generally starts in a person’s forties and continues into their fifties. Women in the throes of it are not mentally unstable. They’re simply dealing with the physical or mental symptoms that result when reproductive hormones fluctuate, Dusenbery says.

“Any woman of perimenopausal age who is experiencing new mental health issues — or symptoms of any kind — should consider that the menopausal transition could be the cause,” she says.

When Amanda Thebe entered perimenopause several years ago, she developed severe depression along with physical symptoms, including bouts of nausea, dizziness, and vertigo. During two years of visits to the emergency room and numerous doctors, no one connected her experience to perimenopause.

Thebe, a fitness and nutrition coach from Houston, clearly remembers the day a gynecologist finally told her that her symptoms were caused by perimenopause. “This was a huge relief to me because I literally thought I was going crazy,” Thebe recalls.

The experience prompted her to start a Facebook support group, Menopausing So Hard, which now has more than 25,000 members, and to write the book Menopocalypse so others wouldn’t feel as isolated as she did.

“Women [in the Facebook group] often post saying they really don't recognize themselves anymore, that they aren't in control of their body or moods,” Thebe says.

This community has helped her and many others learn from one another, even when the medical community fails them. “The power of the group is that women speak up and share their own experiences, therefore helping others feel less isolated in their despair,” she says.

Cognitive behavioral therapy and clinical hypnosis are also supported by evidence, per the North American Menopause Society.

Mental health symptoms may be improved with hormone therapy. Santoro suggests trying it for several months. If sufficient relief is not experienced by then, it may be time to switch to antidepressants or other medications.

“Seeking help from a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist who can evaluate this more formally may be helpful,” she says.

Of course, this requires a practitioner who takes these symptoms seriously. If yours does not, Dusenbery suggests that you immediately seek out someone who does. You can find a practitioner with expertise in menopause in the directory of the North American Menopause Society.

• While discussions about menopause and measures to limit the symptoms are more common than they used to be, healthcare professionals and women approaching middle age are still not taking shifting hormones seriously enough.
• There are around 75 million women in the United States alone currently living in a menopausal state, but there is a lack of understanding and clear advice from professionals as to when it begins, how long it lasts, and what to do about it.
• Hormone therapy is the standard of care for many people experiencing hot flashes and other types of symptoms, according to the North American Menopause Society.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy and clinical hypnosis are also supported by evidence, per the North American Menopause Society.