6 Things Women With Metastatic Breast Cancer Want You to Know

“Being metastatic, to me, was scary only at first, when I was reading all the misconceptions and clickbait — that it’s ‘the scariest,’ it’s ‘the most extreme and severe cancer,’ ‘there is no cure.’” Tucker said. “And I guess those things are true, but that is no reason to be afraid. My oncologist and my radiation oncologist have always had hope for me. And I’ve had success in treatment, just like any other cancer, metastatic or not.”

Here are six things that women who’ve been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, including Tucker, want you to keep in mind while dealing with the disease.

1. Positivity Can Be the Best Medicine

For Aleta Phelps, staying positive, despite being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in March 2021, helped her focus more on her life and less on her diagnosis.

“There are many days when I feel weak, and I have a high level of severe pain throughout my entire body,” Phelps said. “I take my medicine for pain and treatment, but I never feel 100 percent pain-free, so the positiveness helps with the leftover pain remnants.”

“I am not suggesting that you deal with having metastatic breast cancer in an unrealistic manner,” Phelps said. “But you should not forget the joy in your life, and you should use that joy to live out your life.”

2. Don’t Let Cancer Stop You From Living

Shannon Vick was first diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 2018. Terrified by her diagnosis, she thought her doctor would tell her to get her affairs in order, but after discussing different treatment options and ways to extend her clinical outcome, she realized her life wasn’t over. She spent four years fighting metastatic breast cancer, and while she continued chemotherapy, there was no evidence of active disease in her system.

“I sometimes try to look at this diagnosis as a gift rather than a curse,” Vick said. “Not because I don’t hate cancer, or because I don’t feel robbed of aspects of my life, or my future, or my children’s future, but because we have a chance to really see what matters in life and look at each day, each year, each new treatment, as a gift.”

3. Be Your Own Advocate

When Tucker was initially diagnosed with breast cancer, the doctors found it in an unexpected place — the cancer had metastasized to her back.

“My back was broken. I was extremely sick, so I went to urgent care thinking I would get some fluids and maybe some meds,” Tucker said. “It turns out, there was cancer in my spine releasing that calcium into the blood as it ate away at my back.”

“Advocate for yourself,” Tucker said. “Talk to your doctor about all options — there are so many! I’m sure there are some that I don’t even know of. If something doesn’t work, try something else. Just never stop trying.”

4. Find a Source of Support

Tucker said she’s blessed to have a strong support system, which included her mom and aunt, who have been with her from the beginning. For those who may not have the same type of support, Tucker recommended seeking it out elsewhere.

“There is a lot of support out there,” Tucker said. “The American Cancer Society, for one, has Hope Lodges [where] you can stay [during] treatment, [and] they have a Survivors Network if you just need someone to talk to.”

5. Advancements in Medicine Are Made All the Time

Three years after Vick’s diagnosis, her treatment stopped working. By the fourth year, she struggled to find a regimen that would help at all, she said. “By the end of year four, I thought I was a goner — the cancer had spread to my liver, lung, and many bones. But then I started a new drug, fresh on the market. It’s been a whole year, and now I’m NED (no evidence of disease).

“Research is leading to more and more breakthroughs that are allowing [those diagnosed with] metastatic cancer to have more years of living, which means there is definitely hope,” Vick said.

6. This Isn’t the End

Phelps refused to believe that her diagnosis meant that she would have to limit herself and stop investing in her life.

While she acknowledged that it’s important to make certain lifestyle changes, such as adopting better eating habits and building a nutritional mindset to stay as healthy as possible, Phelps didn’t view the disease as a be-all and end-all. “Metastatic breast cancer does not have to be a death notice but can instead become an eye-opener,” she said.

Vick came to the same conclusion early on in her treatment. “I was told by my medical team when I was first diagnosed that it was no longer a death sentence, but more of a treatable condition nowadays,” she said. “That’s the biggest thing I want to pass on to others. It is not the end, but rather a new path.”