Are You ‘Touch Starved’? What It Means and How It Affects Your Health

A friendly handshake. A pat on the shoulder. A warm hug. These are all common ways we interact with the people in our lives, and there's a reason they all involve touching.

"Touch is something that is biologically beneficial to human beings," says Michelle Drouin, PhD, a research psychologist in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and the author of Out of Touch: How to Survive an Intimacy Famine.

And just like other human needs, not getting enough touch in our lives — sometimes called touch starvation or "skin hunger" — can significantly affect our well-being.

Touch starvation can happen to anyone, but certain people are more at risk than others. Here's what to know about this feeling and what to do if you're experiencing it.

What Does It Mean to Be ‘Touch Starved’?

Put simply: Touch starvation is the feeling that you don’t have enough physical touch in your life, Dr. Drouin says. It's highly individual, she adds, because some people may desire more touch than others. Physical touch can look like a hug, a pat on the arm, or any other positive physical contact, Drouin notes.

Touch starvation can be related to loneliness, but the two don't always occur together. "You could have your needs for loneliness met and still not be touched in a way that fills you," Drouin says.

Touch starvation can affect individuals in romantic relationships, too, she adds, if one partner craves more touch than the other.

Children can also experience touch starvation, although researchers typically refer to it as touch deprivation, says Tiffany Field, PhD, the director of the Touch Research Institute in the department of pediatrics at the University of Miami School of Medicine.

Why Touch Matters for Physical and Mental Health

Research on the benefits of affectionate touch (or a pleasant, voluntary touch intended to demonstrate caring, support, or warmth) has shown that it's crucial to a person's mental and physical well-being at any age.

"The benefits of physical touch in someone's life cannot be oversold," Drouin says. "As long as we're touching with consent and at a level appropriate to the relationship, the benefits are plentiful for both people involved.”

Who Is at Risk of Being Touch Starved?

People who live alone or are socially isolated and those who aren't in romantic relationships are more likely to be touch-starved, Drouin says.

This is especially true in Western cultures like the United States, where touch isn't as integrated into greetings or interactions with strangers or friends. Whereas some cultures may greet one another with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, for example, this level of touch isn't as acceptable in our society, Drouin notes.

6 Steps to Cope With Feeling Touch Starved

There are several ways adults can ease the feeling of touch starvation.

1. Talk to Your Loved Ones

If you have people in your life who could give you more touch, such as close friends, family members, or a romantic partner, try having an open and honest conversation with them about your needs, Drouin suggests. Ask your friend if they're okay with hugging, for example, or see if your partner would be open to holding hands or cuddling on the couch more often.

It may feel a bit uncomfortable to voice your needs like this, but then again, your loved one might be craving more touch, too.

2. Get Regular Massages

3. Spend Time With Pets

If you don't have a pet yourself, there are other ways to interact with animals, including volunteering at a local animal shelter, pet-sitting, or visiting a cat café.

4. Give Yourself a Hug

Self-touch gestures — such as wrapping your arms around yourself or placing your hand over your heart — can feel soothing and may help lower stress levels and regulate emotions, much like receiving someone else’s touch.

5. Join a Cuddle Party

If you've never heard of a cuddle party — a nonsexual social event where adults engage in mutual physical touch — that's understandable: "They're not mainstream," Drouin says. This is likely because the idea of cuddling strangers seems odd to most people, or because they ascribe romantic connotations to such get-togethers. But that’s not what they’re about. “Everything within a cuddle party is supposed to be consensual, and everyone keeps their clothes on,” she says.

To find a cuddle party near you, look for an event run by a certified cuddle party facilitator who is trained to create safe, supportive spaces for participants.

6. Speak With a Mental Health Professional

The Takeaway

• Humans are wired to want physical touch, and it can have several benefits.
• When someone doesn't experience touch as much as they would like, it can lead to touch starvation.
• Folks at highest risk for touch starvation include people who live alone, those who aren't in romantic relationships, and children in orphanages.
• To cope with touch starvation, talk openly with the people in your life about your needs, get regular massages, spend time with animals, join a cuddle party, and talk to a mental health professional.