‘TMI’ Could Save Your Life: How to Talk to Your Doctor About Embarrassing Symptoms That Could Be Cancer

Keep reading for advice about how to start a conversation about your symptoms with your doctor — and what you can expect to happen next.

Why We Stay Silent (and Why We Shouldn’t)

Gunturi, who mostly sees female patients for breast or gynecologic cancers, notices that they are often especially hesitant to talk about their bodies. “I think a lot of women find it very personal and maybe embarrassing to talk about,” she says. “Maybe their moms and their grandmothers were always kind of quiet about their personal issues and maybe they feel like it’s just not something to talk about.”

Gunturi wants her patients to feel comfortable bringing up symptoms as soon as they start. “People should know that what happens in an exam room between a patient and a doctor is 100 percent confidential,” she says. “So it’s a really, really safe space.”

‘Embarrassing’ Symptoms You Should Never Ignore

• Digestive or Anal Symptoms Rectal pain, diarrhea or changes in bowel habits, constipation, gas, or blood in the stool

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• Breast Changes Lumps, rashes, discoloration, skin thickness, changes to the nipples, or scaling or flaking of skin

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• Prostate Symptoms: Frequent urination, erectile dysfunction, pelvic pain, lumps in the testicles, blood in the urine or semen, trouble urinating, or leaking of urine

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• Gynecologic Symptoms Pain during sex, postmenopausal bleeding, unusual discharge, frequent urination, vulvar sores or warts, changes to the vulva’s color or skin, or itching or burning

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How to Start the Conversation

When you feel embarrassed, you might hesitate to bring up your symptoms and wait until the doctor is about to leave before mentioning what’s going on. But bringing up symptoms early in your appointment can give the doctor more time to gather information about what you’re experiencing.

To make it easier, here are a few phrases you can use to start the conversation:

“I have a concern I was hoping I could share with you.”

“There’s one thing in particular I need to talk to you about.”

“I have another symptom I was wondering if we could discuss.”

“Being direct and just open and honest about your symptoms is the best piece of advice I can give patients,” says Koo.

If you feel nervous about sharing your symptoms out loud, you can also write them down. “Oftentimes, there are opportunities for if you want to send a message to the practice beforehand regarding the reason for your visit,” says Koo. You can also note these symptoms on the forms you’ll fill out before your appointment or even list them on a piece of paper to hand to your doctor.

After you tell your doctor about your symptoms, they’ll probably start by asking some follow-up questions. It’s important to give your doctor as much information as possible, even if it feels embarrassing. “The more information they have, the better care they can provide for you,” says Koo. Your doctor may also perform a physical exam or prescribe other testing, such as blood work or imaging, to learn more about the cause of your symptoms.

“You know, doctors have heard it all,” says Koo. “There’s no judgment.” What matters most is that your doctor has the information needed to figure out what’s causing your symptoms before they progress. “That conversation needs to start,” says Koo.

At the end of the day, if a doctor makes you feel uncomfortable about your symptoms or diagnosis, seek out a second opinion and find someone who better understands your needs.

The Takeaway

• If you have symptoms that feel embarrassing, you may feel uncomfortable talking about them with your doctor.
• Being direct about symptoms and bringing them up earlier on makes it easier for doctors to treat them.
• Writing down symptoms ahead of time can help when you’re nervous about sharing them.
• Doctors are used to hearing about all kinds of symptoms, and their priority is figuring out how to help you feel better.