Maintaining Your Normal With MBC: How to Preserve Energy and Daily Independence

Finding ways to conserve energy and maintain independence with MBC can help you stay connected to what’s important to you. To help, we asked oncology experts to share the strategies they find most helpful for people living with metastatic breast cancer.

Eliminate Unnecessary Energy Drains

Step 1: Track How You Spend Your Time

Also pay attention to which activities energize you and which ones don’t affect you either way, says Rua. For example, you might notice that grocery shopping leaves you exhausted, while a short walk with a friend lifts your spirit. Seeing these patterns can help you decide what adjustments you’d like to make.

Then ask yourself whether there are other activities you’d rather be doing instead, says Sydney Brehany, MD, a board-certified oncologist at Mission Cancer and Blood, part of Iowa Health Care. Make a list of what feels most important in this phase of your life and let that guide your choices, she says.

Step 2: Cut Out, Delegate, or Simplify the Rest

After identifying what drains you and what matters most, the next step is figuring out what can be eliminated, handed off, or simplified, says Dr. Brehany. Some activities may simply not be worth the energy they take in this phase of your life. That might mean skipping optional commitments and giving yourself permission to stop doing things that no longer serve you.

Still, eliminating energy drains isn’t always easy. It’s often a balance between what truly needs to get done versus old routines or what feels expected by others, explains Brehany. Just because something feels like it should get done does not mean it actually needs to be done. Allow yourself to release those expectations to help protect your energy.

“If a task is on the horizon, ask yourself whether it’s something you need to complete or if it can be delegated to a family member, friend, or colleague,” says Brehany. While asking for help can be difficult, people around you most likely want to lend a hand, but they just don’t know how to start, she says. So be specific about what you need. For example, ask questions like these:

• “Could you pick up a few things at the grocery store for me?”
• “Would you be able to drive me to treatment next Tuesday?”
• “Can you handle the dishes after dinner?”

Look for ways to reduce effort where possible. Consider using meal prep services or grocery delivery instead of shopping in person; try automating bill payments or hiring someone to clean your house once or twice a month.

If extra help is not an option financially or logistically, consider simplifying your expectations. “Do things that are important and urgent,” says Gary Deng, MD, PhD, a professor of medicine and the director of integrative oncology at UCI Health. Let go of things that are urgent but not important, and postpone tasks that matter but can wait, he says.

This might mean changes like the following:

• Laundry gets done, but folding it perfectly can wait (or not happen at all).
• Meals are simple and nutritious, not elaborate.
• The house is clean enough, not spotless.
• You return the most important calls and texts, and let others know you’ll get back to them when you can.

Palliative care teams can also help identify resources and find creative ways to manage symptoms while keeping your personal goals at the forefront of your care, says Brehany. See if your clinic offers these services and other support programs to help with tasks like cooking, cleaning, transportation, and other daily needs.

Step 3: Plan Your Day Around Times of Peak Energy

Brehany recommends planning what needs to be done at the beginning of the day or the night before.

If possible, keep these tips in mind:

• Avoid scheduling too many activities on the same day.
• Plan demanding tasks during the time of day when you tend to feel your best.
• Take breaks to avoid pushing through exhaustion.

Embrace your new normal, says Rua. The routines and expectations that worked before your diagnosis may no longer fit your life now, and that’s okay.

Modify Your Living Area

If doing activities around the house feels harder than it used to, adjusting how your home is set up may help conserve energy.

Start With Decluttering

Decluttering your home can make it easier to find items you use frequently. It also reduces the effort involved in cleaning and organizing, says Rua.

Take it one room at a time. Clear off counters, shelves, and other surfaces by putting away things you don’t use often or storing them out of sight.

Organize Strategically

Brehany recommends organizing your spaces so that items you use together are stored in the same place. For example, keep medications in one spot or group kitchen tools used for the same task. This can help limit unnecessary movement back and forth.

If possible, keep daily activities on one floor of the home, especially if going up and down stairs is physically draining, says Brehany.

Make the Kitchen Easier to Navigate

Store frequently used items at waist or counter height to avoid bending or reaching, says Rua. Switch to lightweight cookware and use electric can openers and other kitchen gadgets that help reduce physical effort.

Dr. Deng recommends placing stools or benches in areas where you normally stand, such as by the stove or counter, so you can rest when needed. Consider using appliances like slow cookers and air fryers to help cut down on the energy that cooking requires.

Improve Safety and Comfort in the Bathroom

To make bathing safer and less tiring, Rua recommends adding grab bars near the toilet and shower. A shower chair or bench can provide extra support while bathing, and a handheld showerhead can make rinsing easier.

Adding nonslip mats can help reduce the risk of a fall, and a raised toilet seat may be helpful if you’re experiencing fatigue or weakness, says Rua.

Set Up Your Bedroom for Comfort

Keep a bedside organizer stocked with medications, water, your phone, and other items you use often, says Rua.

You may find an adjustable bed or wedge pillows helpful for comfort and symptom management. Make getting dressed less tiring by storing clothing and other accessories at accessible heights.

Use Other Helpful Tools

• Reachers or grabbers for items that are hard to reach
• Tools that make putting on and removing socks easier
• Rolling carts to help transport items like laundry and supplies
• Mobility aids such as a cane or walker
• Voice-activated technology for lights, other electronics, or reminders

Learn to Say No

Overcommitting can leave you depleted for the things you truly need to do, says Brehany. And without boundaries, you may push yourself to meet others’ expectations, which can lead to symptom flares or emotional exhaustion, says Rua.

It helps to set limits — though it can feel uncomfortable at first, especially when you don’t want to disappoint anyone. But it’s a way to ensure that you have enough strength for your own health and priorities. It also becomes easier when you have simple, honest language to lean on.

Rua shares the following examples that can help set boundaries without shutting people out:

• “I really appreciate the invitation, but I don’t have the energy for that right now.”
• “I have to be mindful of my energy, so I need to pass this time.”
• “I’d love to join, but at this moment I can’t commit. Please don’t take it personally.”
• “I’m learning to say yes only to what I can truly manage.”

You don’t need to overexplain your decisions. Clear, kind communication that acknowledges the other person while protecting your energy is often enough.

Deng recommends the “sandwich approach.” You start with appreciation, state your limitations, and end on a positive note. Here are some examples:

• “Thank you for inviting me. I don’t have the energy now, but it means a lot to be included.”
• “It’s very nice of you to think I can be helpful. I’m going through treatments these days and can’t commit. I hope someone else can be more helpful than me.”
• “I’m grateful you asked. I need to sit this one out, but I hope we can connect another time.”

In some situations, consider reframing the invitation by offering a different day or time that better fits your schedule or treatment cycle if it’s something you want to participate in, suggests Brehany. This keeps you in control, rather than feeling like you’re turning something down completely. You might say something like this:

• “I can’t make it this week, but I’d love to try next weekend if I’m feeling up to it.”
• “Today won’t work for me, but a short visit later in my treatment cycle might.”
• “I can’t do the full outing, but I’d enjoy a quick coffee or phone call instead.”

It may also help to briefly explain how treatment affects your energy, says Brehany. Doing so can help others understand your limits and may reduce the number of invitations you have to consider declining in the future. Some examples are statements like the following:

• “My treatment makes my energy unpredictable, so I have to be careful about what I commit to.”
• “Some days are harder than others, and I don’t want to say yes and then have to cancel.”
• “My body needs more rest these days, so I’m keeping my schedule light.”

Prioritize Joy

“Too often, we get caught up in the busyness of life, like appointments, errands, or work responsibilities,” says Brehany. In the process, activities and events that bring joy may not even be included on your to-do list. But those very moments of pleasure can support your mental well-being and even help restore energy rather than drain it, she says.

Rua says that she often reminds patients that the reason for treatment is to live more moments of joy. Instead of seeing activities that fill your cup as indulgent, try to view them as therapeutic and necessary. Try the following suggestions.

Focus on High-Reward Activities

What brings you joy is personal and will look different for everyone. Select hobbies and activities that take relatively little physical effort but offer a meaningful emotional return, says Deng.

To find what works for you, Brehany recommends paying attention to how you feel after certain events. If spending time with grandchildren, a gentle exercise class, or another activity leaves you feeling more present or uplifted, those are worth prioritizing.

Schedule Joy Like You Schedule Appointments

Making space for joy on your calendar gives you something to look forward to and reinforces that your life includes more than medical appointments. Rua suggests the following activities that can fit well with changing energy levels:

• Low-Effort Creativity Try journaling, coloring, listening to music, or photography.
• Time Outdoors Sit in a park or spend a few minutes in a garden.
• Entertainment Watch a favorite show or listen to an audiobook.
• Brief Connections Reach out to a friend for a short, meaningful chat.
• Reflective Practices Engage in prayer, meditation, or mindfulness exercises.

At the same time, give yourself grace. If you plan for a joyful moment and realize you simply do not have the energy when the time comes, that’s okay. The idea is to make intentional room for joy whenever you’re able.

The Takeaway

• Living with metastatic breast cancer often means managing limited energy. Identify what activities drain you and make intentional changes to help you preserve energy and focus on what matters most.
  
• Setting boundaries, delegating tasks, simplifying routines, and modifying your living space can help you manage your days with less effort.
  
• Prioritizing joy is therapeutic. Schedule activities that fill your cup and align with your current energy levels.
  
• If fatigue, safety concerns, or daily functioning becomes difficult to manage, talk with your healthcare team about resources and support options that may help.