8 Ways to Support a Loved One With Ovarian Cancer Around Oncology Appointments

When someone you love has ovarian cancer, it goes without saying that things can be stressful — especially if the diagnosis feels sudden, the cancer isn’t responding to treatment, or the cancer seems to be progressing. It doesn’t help that oncology appointments can feel overwhelming, confusing, frequent, and sometimes emotional.

This is where you can make a big difference in helping your loved one cope. “Friends and family can play a vital role in supporting someone diagnosed with ovarian cancer,” says Bridget Coyne Gabbe, LMSW, a social worker at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center Rockefeller Outpatient Clinic in New York City.

Whether it’s at the initial consultation, pre- or post-operative appointments, or treatment-related visits, there are key ways you can be there for your loved one and help them feel less alone on the road ahead.

1. Help Track Symptoms and Concerns

Between oncology visits, your loved one may have a change in symptoms, due to the ovarian cancer itself or the medication they’re taking. Encourage them to keep a list or log of anything that comes up. You can even offer to keep the list for them and bring it to each appointment.

“New concerns often come up between visits, and your loved one may forget them when they’re sitting in the exam room,” says Dr. Tankou. “A written list helps ensure the issues most important to them are discussed.”

Plus, there may be some changes you notice that your loved one may not realize — for example, changes in their weight or appearance, a loss of appetite, memory problems, or weakness, as well as social stressors or financial concerns — that are also important to note.

“Bringing these concerns to the healthcare team’s attention can help identify problems earlier and connect you with appropriate resources and support,” she says.

2. Take Notes

During appointments, it’s helpful if you become the notetaker, so your loved one can focus on listening to and interacting with the healthcare team. “Medical appointments often involve a large amount of information delivered in a short amount of time, which can be quite overwhelming,” says Gabbe. Keeping a running list of notes, which you can add to at each appointment, can help. “Having a caregiver take notes regarding recommendations, medication changes, or next steps allows the patient to focus on the conversation instead of trying to remember every detail,” she says.

Then, your loved one can refer to your notes later, when they may be more clearheaded and considering treatment decisions.

3. Follow Your Loved One’s Lead

Supporting your loved one doesn’t mean taking over the conversation or decision-making during visits.

“I always recommend caregivers follow their loved one’s lead and let them dictate what they need and want,” says Robin Cohen, RN, cofounder of the Sandy Rollman Ovarian Cancer Foundation and chair of the World Ovarian Cancer Coalition. “It’s easy to overstep, but it’s important to let the person with cancer be the guide.”

At times, the news may be tough, and your loved one may have to make some difficult decisions. Their feelings and wishes are paramount. Take a step back, allow them to make the choices that feel right to them, and respect those decisions.

4. Ask About Support Services

Cancer care is about much more than medical treatment, says Gabbe. Your loved one may have access to a variety of resources to help them along their journey with ovarian cancer.

5. Show Up on Infusion Day

If your loved one receives chemotherapy treatment, consider taking the day off to spend it with them. Depending on the regimen, a chemo infusion can last hours, and receiving it can be cause anxiety, especially the first time, says Tankou.

“Having a family member or friend there, even for part of the infusion, can provide reassurance, ease nervousness, and help them feel more comfortable with the process,” says Tankou. “As treatment continues, some people prefer company during infusions, while others enjoy using that time to rest, read, or watch a movie. The key is asking what feels most supportive to them.”

6. Help Process Difficult News

When an appointment involves a difficult decision or unexpected news, your loved one may not absorb everything they hear in the moment.

“After the visit, caregivers should check in to see how their loved one is feeling,” says Gabbe. “Sometimes people need time to process difficult news before discussing next steps. Together, you can then review what was discussed and help clarify any confusion.”

7. Just Listen

It’s natural to want to try to “fix” things for your loved one by offering advice, encouragement, or potential solutions. But often, that’s not what people want (or need). They may prefer an opportunity to just vent. “Sometimes the greatest gift is simply creating space for someone to express what they’re feeling,” says Tankou.

“Instead of assuming what your loved one needs, ask them how they would like to be supported,” she adds. “Everyone’s experience is unique, and what feels helpful to one person may not feel helpful to another.”

8. Be Adaptable

Advanced ovarian cancer is often experienced as a chronic illness. It’s not just one round of treatment but ongoing treatments, and navigating the journey can take longer than anticipated.

“Some people with ovarian cancer may have periods where there’s no evidence of disease, followed by a recurrence that requires additional treatment or surgery,” says Gabbe. “Just as [people with cancer] need to adapt to the changes, it’s important for caregivers to adapt alongside them, recognizing that the kind of support needed can change over time.”

Keep checking in with your loved one. “Open communication about changing needs and what support feels most helpful is important at each step along the way,” she says.