‘I Had Always Known … I Would Wind Up With Cancer’

“It’s difficult to anticipate how you’re going to react when you receive a cancer diagnosis,” says Shirley Eosso, who learned in 2019 that she had breast cancer. In a way, though, Shirley was more prepared than many women in her situation, given her family’s history. Cancer had taken both of her maternal grandparents, as well as her father and baby brother.

Because of that history, Shirley says, “I had always known — or always felt — at some point in my life, I would wind up with cancer.” She just didn’t think it would happen at only age 40, when she had two young boys, a husband, and a career she loved.

A Family History of Cancer

None of the cancers that had taken her family members were inherited types. Even though Shirley didn’t “get” breast cancer from someone else, losing loved ones to cancer did leave her with something else: a foundation of fortitude that she was able to tap into as she went through chemotherapy, a mastectomy, and breast reconstruction.

“I needed to be very aware of how I dealt with [breast cancer treatment],” Shirley says. “I was really careful about when and how I was grieving and thinking through and processing.”

To that end, she connected regularly with two therapists and leaned on others for help and support. “It’s important to know that there are people that have taken this journey before you,” she says, “and to be welcomed in by others to the club that no one wants to be a part of. It gave me more power to make choices and decisions.”

In particular, Shirley turned to her mom, Joanne, who had experienced the same losses to cancer — both of her parents, her husband, and her baby. “My mom has been a great example of how to stay strong through cancer,” Shirley says. “She has so much knowledge. She has so much compassion. I couldn’t have done it without her.”

She Tapped Into Individual — and Familial — Strength During Cancer Treatment

“I knew I could do it,” she says. “During my cancer journey, I kept saying to myself, ‘This is not my story. This is not how I die. This is not when I die. I will be here for my boys. This is not how I see my story ending.’”

Shirley’s treatment was successful: She has no evidence of cancer in her body, and she’s able to look back on her experience with both pride and insight for other women facing a breast cancer diagnosis.

“You go to the doctors, and you get as much information as you possibly can,” she advises. “You make decisions with the best information that you have. It’s not going to be easy, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep going.”

And if cancer runs in your family, like it does for Shirley, use that legacy to help you through treatment. “You are stronger than you know, and you handle what you have to handle,” she says. “I made it through, and in some weird way, I’m proud of myself to show that strength.”

4 Steps to Take If You Have a Family History of Cancer

1. Learn about your family history and share it with your doctor. If you haven’t already, talk to your primary care provider about the types of cancer your family members have had, when they were diagnosed, and how each person is related to you.
2. Get regular screenings and checkups. Your doctor will likely suggest you have screenings earlier and more often than usual. For example, if you have a family history of colon cancer, they may advise you to have your first colonoscopy before age 45, which is the standard recommendation.
3. Consider genetic testing. This will help determine if you might have a genetic mutation that puts you at a higher-than-normal risk of cancer. Note that such a mutation doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll develop cancer, but depending on the test results and other factors, it may make sense to take precautionary measures. For example, if you are shown to have a very high risk of developing breast cancer, your doctor may recommend going on medication to reduce your risk or having one or both breasts removed as a preventive measure. Speaking to a breast cancer specialist can help you determine your level of risk and the best interventions based on that risk.
4. Live a healthy lifestyle. If you smoke, quitting can greatly reduce your risk of many types of cancer, not just lung cancer. In total, about 1 in 5 cases of cancer are due to excess body weight, poor nutrition, physical inactivity, and consuming too much alcohol, according to the American Cancer Society. Taking measures to address these issues, if they apply to you, can help lower your cancer risk. And wearing sunscreen every day, even when it’s cloudy out, can protect you from skin cancer.